Shonda Rhimes is a prolific television screenwriter, producer and founder of Shondaland, her production company. Highly rated Shondaland produced shows include How to Get Away with Murder, The Residence, Scandal, Bridgerton and others. When I heard that Rhimes was coming to my city to promote the 10th Anniversary of her Year of Yes memoir, I didn't think twice before buying a ticket. Let's discuss.....
On November 28, 2013, a Thanksgiving day morning conversation between Shonda Rhimes and her sister Delorse changed her life. Shonda, a self-proclaimed introvert usually said no to invitations to go outside of her comfort zone. Even though she was happily successful, she was also miserable. Why? As a child she spent hours in her parent's kitchen pantry making stories using canned goods as characters. As a 43- year-old, she still felt more comfortable with characters than with people. Six words muttered by Delorse "You never say yes to anything," changed Shonda's life.
"I had a wonderful childhood, but I lived so deep in my imagination that I was happier and more at home in that pantry with the canned goods than I ever was with people. I felt safer in the pantry. Freer in that pantry. True when I was three years old. And somehow even more true at forty-three." Shonda Rhimes, page 39.
In a previous post, we discussed Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs. With her successful career and supportive family and friends, Shonda's basic and psychological needs were met. However, due to her unwillingness to go outside of her comfort zone, her self-fulfillment needs were not met. When not given a choice and forced to be in uncomfortable situations, Shonda enjoyed the experiences. That feeling of accomplishment was the evidence she needed that saying no to scary challenges was holding her back from a fuller life. The Year of Yes chronicles Shonda's year-long commitment to saying yes to experiences that scared her. The 10th Year Anniversary edition includes new chapters.
Shonda Rhimes is a good writer. I like her direct approach to sentence structure and storytelling. I find some writers pad stories. Shonda cuts through the grease to allow her stories to fry: Extra crispy. Golden brown. Interesting and fun. I often laugh aloud at her stories. I see myself in her childhood experiences. I was also an avid reader. Instead of the kitchen pantry, I devoured books in my bedroom. I plan to start saying yes! to writing fiction (more on that later).
The Year of Yes is inspirational. It challenges readers to consider if fear of failure is holding them back from living a fuller life. When the memoir was released in 2015, I was not in the space to appreciate the book. My issue was, I thought, was saying yes too often. However, 10 years later, I receive the book with open arms. I understand that what you say yes to makes a difference. Wise discernment is important. When choices are in alignment with my goals I say yes and don't let fear keep me from the challenge. Other than that, no is still the best answer.
Yes!
References:
10th Anniversary Edition, Year of Yes, by Shonda Rhimes.
Wikipedia
Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs, courtesy of Simply Psychology https://www.simplypsychology.org/maslow.html
Year of Yes book photo, courtesy of Simon and Schuster
Shonda Rhimes, courtesy of Jimmy Kimmel Live, YouTube