An overview of the Internal Family Systems Model. Acquiring mediation skills may assist you in solving personal and non-litigious conflicts.
Per the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics, mediators expedite the negotiation and communication between disputing parties to help resolve conflicts outside of the court system. The job outlook is faster than average. The median salary is $64,030/year. Highly sought out mediators have excellent communication and listening skills, are patient and remain neutral in resolving disputes. The mediator's goal is to empower the parties to come to an agreeable solution themselves.
Do you have to be an attorney/lawyer to be a professional mediator?
Most states require training and a bachelor's
degree, but not a law degree. Contact your local mediation society for more information on practice
requirements.
Here are some links to get your started...
https://www.finra.org/arbitration-mediation/become-arbitrator/become-mediator
https://www.georgiamediators.org/
https://www.nadn.org/california-mediators
Is mediation only for legal proceedings?
Mediation can be used to resolve any type of dispute. Learning how to use mediation skills in
whatever field you are in is useful in resolving conflicts. Since it is usually impossible to make everyone happy
due to conflicting needs and wants, mediation is a tool to help everyone to
agree with the best decision without leaving anyone feeling disempowered.
Does mediation and negotiation only happen between separate parties?
Mediation and negotiation may also occur within an individual own's inner psyche. For an example, a person may feel positive about taking a trip. However, at the same time they don't really want to go. This type of inner conflict was popular after COVID-19 was over and companies required their workers to return to the office. Some of the workers wanted to keep their job, but at the same time did not want to sacrifice the benefits of remote work. Mr. Hoffman considers resolving these inner conflicts within one's own self as "managing the negotiation within."
What is the Internal Family Systems Model (IFSM)?
The IFSM was developed by Richard C. Schwartz in the 1980's. One of the basic assumptions is the nature of the mind is to be subdivided into an indeterminate number of subpersonalities or parts. These parts have different purposes and react positively or adversely depending on the environment. The goal of therapy is to achieve balance and harmony in the internal systems (IFS Institute).
How does IFSM help mediators be more effective?
Per the video, Mr. Hoffman explains that the IFSM is intuitive and non-pathologizing. It is a resource tool that anyone can use to access their internal healing power. For successful mediation, parties must feel empowered in the decision-making process. Parties in disputes are reluctant to accept an agreement if they believe that their power was taken away or the other person had an unfair advantage over them. Depending on the conflict, hurtful emotions often stand in the way of achieving peaceful resolutions.
For the mediator, the IFSM helps them heal their internal parts so that they can help their clients come to a resolution without being triggered. The tool also helps the mediator identify the hurt parts in their clients that are causing them to be unreasonable. For the parties, the IFSM helps them identify and heal their internal parts so that they can distinguish between their needs and wants.
IFSM illustration by Laura L. Walsh
The IFSM illustration below is from the article, "You and Your Grieving Parts" by psychologist Laura L. Walsh. The Core Self is our perfect true Self. It is the natural essence of your identity. The core Self can be accessed at any time. However, our core Self is surrounded by multiple 'protectors' whose job is to shield the Self from harm. Like an orchestra, each protector has a role whose job is to keep the Self in harmony. However, what happens when one instrument is too loud and takes control of the music? What happens when the violin is louder than the flute? The music is not as beautiful as it could be. Music is beautiful when each instrument plays its part in unison. Like a conductor, the core Self keeps the protectors in balance.
IFSM is a self-leadership concept
A member of the audience asked Mr. Hoffman why he subscribes to the IFSM instead of other self-management techniques. His response is that we are attracted to ideas that make the most sense to us. A theory is a way of analyzing a concept, but it is not the only way to look at a topic.
Conclusion:
The Program on Negotiation, based at Harvard Law School, encourages new thinking in negotiation theory towards a more compassionate approach to settling disputes. Visit the website to gain access to free materials and to learn about their virtual and in-person offerings.
Mediation is not only used for settling disputes with external parties. Negotiating within one's self to make peace with decision making is also challenging. The IFMS is a concept that asserts that the mind is made up of different parts with specific functions. Each part does its job to protect the core Self. The overall goal is survival.
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